ACCORDING to the Cambridge Dictionary, the idiom “too big for one’s britches” (or “too big for one’s boots”) means behaving in an arrogant, overconfident way as if you are much more important, smart or powerful than you actually are.
This was precisely the gist of a post by Threader Davveen Vasudev (@davveen_vasudev) who recounted an episode that cost a “Datin” millions of ringgit in lost opportunity cost.
Stating that the terms of his company’s annual dinner event was up for re-negotiation, an exclusive hotel sent a representative known to the poster.
Even after she had handed him her business card stating that she now belonged to the titled classes (or was at least married to one), the poster continued addressing her by her first name.
To his astonishment, he was admonished for “disrespecting the palace by not addressing her as Datin”.
But it was the poster who had the last laugh as he simply scrapped the contract and transferred the business to a competitor to which they have stayed loyal with for seven years.
It was a contract worth millions annually and he pointedly remarked that the Datin lost out not because of “price, service or performance” but because she chose to “make the conversation about status”.
It was with some glee that the poster underlined who was calling the shots when he declared, “I showed her who is the boss.”
This little tale of egos being pricked generated interesting responses, ranging from the hilarious to contempt over perceived entitled attitudes.
Quite a few were quick to defend the many down-to-earth types who would go through life without anybody realising they are or were titled individuals.
One book lover shared an anecdote where a friendly acquaintance never let on that she was a Datin which she only found out when invited to celebrate Deepavali at the lady’s home. It was surmised that people who otherwise flaunt their titles are just “hidung tinggi” (being snobbish).
That “hidung tinggi” attitude drew plenty of contempt and derision of Malaysians who are just no longer impressed by these titles given their proliferation of individuals possessing them.
It was quite rightly pointed out these titles carried little weight, if any, abroad. They were even less use posthumously.
It was also opined that this was the behaviour of those recently bestowed with titles and were too keen to announce that fact to all sundry.
However, a few jaded commenters pointed out that “if one were to throw a rock in KL, they’d likely hit a Datuk (or Datin).”
Similar rolling of eyeballs was reserved for individuals who felt the need to announce themselves on WhatsApp chat groups using their prefix whether it is a kids tuition discussion group or in a school classroom where she is the teacher.
The poster’s decision to NOT award the Datin’s hotel the contract was applauded by one commenter who added that second wives cannot use the “Datin title unless the spouse has “got few Datuk medals”.
One unimpressed commenter remarked that he would end the friendship immediately if a friend had made a similar demand. He further reasoned out that he would only use the palace titles when introducing someone to new acquaintances or in a formal setting.
The best comment though was made by a comic who deadpanned that his wife is a Datuk but he has refrained from using the “Datin” title.
The sarcastic punchline sums up what Malaysians generally feel about individuals wanting to push their weight about by flashing their titles. Get over it. Those titles don’t appear on identity cards as pointed out by this distinctly unimpressed netizen. – Oct 1, 2026
